This past week I have been thinking about the way yarn, and more specifically, things knitted or crocheted with yarn, can serve as agents of kindness. I wrote before about the healing power of yarn, and in that blog post the healing came in the passing down of the art of crochet to a new generation of yarn enthusiasts. In today's post, I want to talk about the power to heal that comes in a finished piece.

I'm sure we've all known or come across someone in our lives that is going through a difficult time. It's just part of the life journey, and none of us are spared periods like this along our own paths. Aside from our children or grandchildren, and maybe other extended family members; there's often not much we can do for folks who are struggling that will make them feel better or cheer them up.
I'm an advocate for donating money to local food banks and shelters (for animals as well as those that serve unhoused or unsafe humans!). While I encourage everyone who believes in giving as a natural part of life to keep these and similar organizations in mind, I am writing today about a different kind of gifting: the giving of some small gift "just because".
One criticism I have of western culture, generally, is that gift-giving has turned many holidays into a frenzied attempt to find the "perfect" gift. This often ruins the holidays for the frantic searcher and creates a lot of stress at a time when life is supposed to be filled with cheer and joy.
As my own way of pushing back on this, over the past several years, I have been striving to do 2 things: 1) give all throughout the year; when there is need as well as when I feel moved to give, and 2) give to someone for no particular reason except that maybe they could use a reminder that there is good in the world, and more reasons to smile than they might be seeing at the moment.
The large projects I have completed are exciting (to me), evidence of a lot of work and represent accomplishments of which I am most proud. However, in this gift-crazy culture, it is (sadly) rare that the gifted crocheted blanket/throw, knitted sweater or shawl is received with as much appreciation and understanding of what went into making that gift, as actually went into it.
My criticism is more about our culture, and the unspoken expectation that all gifts be penultimate, life-changing BEST EVER gifts, than it is critical of anyone who has received a handmade gift. We have been marketed into this delusion (think of the luxury car commercials that feature a car with a giant red bow, sitting in a driveway as someone's holiday gift) and so most of the time are reacting unaware of our conditioning.
This persistent marketing has all of us, somewhat unconsciously, expecting gifts to be life changing in the way that most of us would have our lives changed if we woke up one morning with a brand new car in our driveway, gifted to us - no car payment required.
I see some evidence of this in social media posts where people discuss how their gifts of knitted or crocheted items are often met with a lukewarm reception. The energy of "thanks,... I think" instead of a true appreciation that someone dedicated their efforts to sit and make something, one stitch at a time, for them. These instances inspire a lot of discussion on these sites, and for good reason. In fact, on the most recent Steel Valley Yarn Crawl, I encountered 2 different people in different yarn shops that were talking about how they only crochet/knit for themselves because people don't appreciate the work they put into things that they have gifted in the past.
I will say again, I believe that this is primarily a reflection of our culture, but that doesn't make it feel any better. One "cure" for this is the gifting of crocheted/knitted gifts - of any size, but I like the small, quick ones - to someone who is not expecting a gift, and could use a little sunshine.
I define "sunshine" in this context as a moment of LIGHT; a moment where the heaviness or darkness of day to day life is lightened or brightened because someone, randomly and out of nowhere, gave a gift, "just because".
One reason for the power of these little gifts is that they are unexpected. I learned a long time ago that when I have some small thing for my kids or grandkids, I don't tell them that I have something for them ahead of time. This prevents them from creating a mental image of something they want, and when my small token shows up - being disappointed. Instead, I leverage the element of SURPRISE that says "I've been thinking about you, and here's a little something I have for you - just because".
It's one thing to do this in our closest circles, but I recommend and encourage expanding to those outside of our innermost circles. It is in these orbits that we can spread the most joy and bring the brightest sunshine - mostly because it comes as an unexpected gift at a random time. These random gifts can feel like the "universe" is telling them, "you matter". For someone existing in a dark place, emotionally and/or mentally, that can be a BIG GIFT in a seemingly simple, small package.
I initially got inspired in this way when I started crocheting lip balm holders a few years back and giving them to people I knew. I even had a wild hair to make enough for a craft show, but they didn't sell very well, so I had an abundance of them leftover. Instead of attempting another craft show, I bought lip balm whenever it was on sale, and began to hand out a lip balm in a crocheted holder to the homeless folks that stand along the roads with signs.

Many of us knit or crochet as a way to unwind, or calm ourselves. We enjoy the process (the journey!) as much as we do the finished pieces. I will go out on a limb here and suggest that many of us also have a stash of finished items that we tuck away in the event that we need a last minute gift, or are inspired to give something to someone in the moment. These impulses are wonderful, and I believe, integral aspects of people who craft in any medium. This blog post is intended to honor those impulses, and perhaps nudge them just a bit. The world is full of people who are sad, lonely, hopeless and more. No one of us individually can solve those problems, but each one of us, in our own unique way, can be a flicker of light, a gentle touch of kindness. I aspire to plant those seeds of light, good and kindness through yarn. And while I do have a container with knitted and crocheted things, ready to give, I also will sit down at the start of some new project and think about who in my extended circles, might need a reminder that they are loved. These aren't birthday gifts or holidays presents: they are random gifts that simply communicate that someone cared enough about them as a human being, to make a small gift - just for them. A few yards of yarn isn't going to resolve homelessness, hunger, poverty, mental health issues or any other of our societal challenges. But, in our own smaller circles and geographies, we CAN pass on a little joy, spread a little love and act as Agents of Kindness. I can't think of a better reason to "Go Grab Some Yarn" !
(C) 2023 Stitch 'n Dish
Comentarios