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Bridges of yarn

Writer's picture: Rebecca (a yarn enthusiast)Rebecca (a yarn enthusiast)
yarn, crochet, baby blanket, fiber arts
A gift from the heart

I've noted in a number of blogs - here and on my other site - the many healing benefits gleaned by crafting, and especially by crocheting and knitting. In today's post I am going to share a different story on this topic.


Many years ago, I had a situation where I was the new kid on the block (new job and company for me), in a management position, and with a number of new colleagues who had been at the company for decades. While companies in general hire new people on a regular basis, and this one is no exception; my entrance into this company seemed to inspire some irritation with a couple people, specifically. For the sake of some levity and anonymity, I'll call them Thelma and Louise.


Thelma was the older of the 2 (a little younger than me) and Louise was about the same age as my daughter at the time: an adult, and old enough to know better, but not quite in possession of the life wisdom that comes in later years. Neither Thelma OR Louise seemed to appreciate that I had been hired, and proceeded to make my life at this new place quite stressful.


They complained to my manager that I left them off of emails or included them in too many emails. Heaven help me if I EVER used a word in all CAPS - even if it was warranted and not directed at them, and more. In other words, no matter what I did, they decided it was wrong.


I initially tried to ignore them, but the stress they were putting on everyone about me was starting to make my manager wonder what the whole story might be, and so a mediation expert was brought in. That tamped down some of the more aggressive complaints for a time, but soon, the litany of things I wasn't doing "right" mounted again.


Now, it’s important to be clear about something here: neither Thelma or Louise was in my department (they did not work for me), and I did not report to them. They worked as administrative support at the level that my manager was assigned to, but had historically – long before I showed up – been given wide latitude on passing out their opinions on things more widely than their assignments required or even permitted.


To be honest – mostly with myself – I should admit that my irritation with their behavior made me double down on things that I initially was doing unintentionally, once I found out that it irritated them. For some time, I refused to even attempt to address their issues. I hadn’t done ANYTHING except show up for a job and get hired. Eventually, I realized that if I wanted more peace at work, I was going to have to take the first steps, even if I hadn't started this mess.


Here's where yarn comes into this story.


I started small - including them one year in the holiday goodies that I made and gave that year. I believe it was a lip balm holder (crocheted) and mini tissue (Kleenex) pack cover (sewn). These were received with surprise and even some appreciation. I saw that I had an opening, and then Thelma shared that she was an avid crafter and I knew I had at least half a chance to repair this relationship, which I wanted to do since I had no plans to leave my job or that company.


Not long after this, Louise found a new job outside of the organization and left. Thelma remained, but she and I had begun to at least acknowledge that we had more in common than either of us had initially believed. Then, she announced in a meeting that she was going to become a grandma. I knew I had an opportunity to further repair this important relationship, so I got to work.


Thelma did a lot of crafts, but none of them in yarn (no crocheting or knitting). I figured a nice baby blanket would be a welcome gift, and hoped that my modest and simple gift would be appreciated by a fellow crafter. It turned out that I was right!


Since then, Thelma and I have grown to be "work friends". She has helped me with things on a number of occasions and I have helped her. We are, at this point years later, the old guard at this company and a testament to many things, such as the importance of letting go, forgiveness AND,... the great power of a gift in yarn when something is made with a loving intention and good will.


I'm not naive enough to believe that a crocheted or knitted gift can fix every interpersonal challenge. What I do know is that a gift from the heart - no matter what it may be - is a very good start to finding the key to resolution.


If you have a friend, neighbor, relative or colleague who is not feeling the warm and fuzzies for you, AND you have a desire (or need) to repair the relationship; think about picking up your crochet hook or knitting needles and making something that they could use or appreciate. It doesn't have to be HUGE or COMPLEX or expensive. All it needs is your creative input, and your loving intentions for healing/relationship repair to take place between the two of you.


As we prepare to celebrate so many holidays during this seaons, I can't think of a better reason to "Go Grab Some Yarn" !!


Happy holiday (& every day) knitting and crocheting!

 

(C) 2023 Stitch 'n Dish


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Pittsburgh, PA, USA

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