My time spent with yarn and hook or needles is usually contemplative. Sometimes I'm deep into the Netflix series I'm binging, while at other times, I am lost in memories and thought. As I spend more time with retirement advisors and financial analysts to plan my exit from "the grind", I have also been thinking a lot about what we leave behind when we walk away, whether from a career, job role, or when we finally pass through the veil to whatever it is that awaits us on the other side.

The thing about stitching and thinking is that the "threads" of connection in life seem to become more clear. I liken this to the benefit of a clear mind due to meditation, and research studies have compared crocheting and knitting to meditation, so it makes sense. Lately in these quiet times I have been thinking about my grandmother.
Later this year we will mark her 25th Yahrzeit (anniversary of her passing). A lot has happened since she left us. My sister had her first child, my children (her great-grandchildren, whom she knew and loved) are adults with kids of their own, and her "girls" have gray hair and are caring for their elderly parents (including her son, who has now outlived his mother by several years).
Just last week, my sister and I were with our parents and we commented that while grandma had been gone for some time, we all still strongly feel her presence.
In my travels through various religious and spiritual traditions, I have come to believe that our loved ones are indeed closer than many of us have been taught. We may see or feel "evidence" of this, or simply hold their memories close in our hearts. I am not suggesting that there is a "right" or "wrong" belief here on either side - just noting that many of us experience this connection with departed family members differently and from various perspectives.
As I pondered these things recently, I realized that one reason my grandmother is still so present for our family is that her handmade items fill our homes. I wrote before about the afghan she made for me before I left home to join the US Navy. My sister also got one when she graduated high school. Our parents' home is filled with crocheted doilies, afghans and (sewn) quilts that my grandmother's MOTHER (and mother-in-law) made and that have kept people we love warm now for almost 100 years.
For me, this connection goes one step further as I took the crocheted chain that grandma taught me one Summer when I was about 10 years old, and built on it. While I will not win any awards for being a master crocheter or knitter, it's not for lack of practice!
Like most fiber fanatics, I always have multiple projects in progress. For example, as I finish up the virus shawl in merino wool (pictured above), I am also knitting a wrap, crocheting chickens, and I just started another wrap (different pattern) with yarn I purchased when I was in New Orleans last year. I am also continuing to support my oldest granddaughter's crochet journey and delighting in her unique take on the art and practice of creating with yarn. In my own crocheted and knitted creations, and ESPECIALLY in the passing on of the craft to my Ella, I am continuing the connection with grandma and extending it to the next generations. In a way, I have continued that crocheted chain that grandma started and handed off to me. It has connected generations from the past, and as I have continued to crochet (& knit), I have maintained it and am passing it on into the future in our family.
(I think there's another blog post in that statement about a long, continuous crochet chain,... stay tuned!)
Someday my children and grandchildren will be remembering me, instead of texting me. It's likely that they'll have at least a piece or two that I have crocheted or knitted in their homes, and I'd like to think that those tangible reminders of love and deep caring will bring them comfort and maybe even a smile at times (my son will be the one that reminds all the wistful folks of what a pain in the backside cleaning out all my yarn, fabric and craft supplies was; it's his way of not succumbing to sentimentality).
I don't know how far my granddaughter will take her love of crocheting. I suspect that it will always be something she enjoys, as she has recently ALSO started learning how to sew. I bought her a new Singer sewing machine (Singer's Tradition), and her zeal and delight with both crocheting and sewing tell me that she'll not wander far from those skills, no matter where life takes her.

Given all I've read about the supportive/restorative aspects of crocheting and knitting, this gives me a great deal of comfort, peace and JOY! I also suspect that she'll continue that multi-generational tradition of making things for people she loves, and gifting crocheted (I won't be surprised if she picks up knitting, too!) and sewn items to the special people in her life.
In this way, a quiet family tradition will continue for generations to come, and who can tell what good may come from it? At this point in my life, I know that my grandmother crocheted for more reasons than to give gifts. As a widow at 62 and a cancer survivor, she had a lot of trials and tribulations to overcome at a point in life where many of us assume our challenges will begin to ease. I know that crocheting was a refuge to her, even if she never acknowledged or admitted it to anyone (people didn't talk about those things back then). I also know that the seed of comfort my grandmother got from her yarn and hooks now also belongs to my granddaughter, and so a legacy of creativity, resilience, and self-care has been passed on.
Several years ago I attended a funeral for an extended family member's parent. As I perused the posters of photos, I was struck with 2 distinct thoughts: 1) few of us truly understand how short this walk on earth is, and 2) the things we think are IMPORTANT in life, aren't.
Job titles, big houses, salaries/money, status. connections (political, not family) and power all go POOF! when we die. Our loved ones are the only people who care enough about us to give any thought to who we were and what we did in life, and their most cherished memories are not going to center on any of those things. If we are lucky, we'll be remembered for the love we shared, the care we provided and the good we brought into their lives.
For those of us that crochet knit or sew and give generously to others of our creations, a little piece of our hearts will live on with each person. AND, for those that have chosen to take up one of these creative pursuits, the embrace of the ancestors will be present in every stitch.
(C) 2024 Stitch 'n DIsh
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